The Test.

Tomorrow morning I am scheduled to take UK citizenship test. This is the first step in the process to become a UK citizen. Well, actually the second step, since you have to meet the eligibility criteria first (i.e. you need to have lived here long enough). So, actually, it's the third step, since you had to go through the process of settling here legally before you start the clock on your eligibility, which you have to do before you take the test. Which, you can't do until you've got your first visa, which you have to do before you can enter the country legally to go through the process of settling here legally so you can start the clock on your eligibility, meet that and then take the test. Thinking about it, I must be a citizen already with the number of steps I've already gone through.

Anyway, the test has two functions: 1) make it seem like they're being tough on immigrants and 2) decrease the number of applications the poor overworked civil servants have to process. No, just kidding, the two functions are: 1) make sure you understand English and 2) make sure you can answer random questions about the UK so the people who are born here don't have to.

I'm sure it's the same with all citizenship tests (I haven't checked, but I'm sure the US must have one too and I'm sure it's equally...ah...interesting). There are lots of questions that no native born Brit would probably be able to answer. At least, that's the way it seems from the practice questions in a study book I bought. Most of the questions were random historical facts ("in the 1950s, the UK set up centres in the West Indies to encourage immigration to the UK to fill what job roles?"), statistics ("according to the 2001 census, what percentage of Scotland's population is from an ethnic minority?"), specific questions about government ("how many members are there in the Welsh assembly?") and then finally things that you would actually know if you lived here ("what are Easter eggs made of?"). Although, I have to say that last example is a trick question for Americans, since over here all Easter eggs are chocolate--they don't do dyed boiled eggs at all. But at least you'd know that if you had ever spent a single Easter in the country or knew someone who had.

So seeing all the statistics questions ("about how many young people participate in community work?") made me panic, of course. I basically gave up, received a pep talk from Mark, got back into it, gave up again, decided to just try it and now I'm feeling a bit more relaxed.

I've read the chapters of the official "Life in the UK" book that the test is based on. I've written out a "citizenship timeline" -- all the completely arbitrary dates that are mentioned in the book and might be on the citizenship test (1550s, Church of England created, 1850s women allowed to divorce, 1918 women get the vote, 1949 Council of Europe created, 1973 UK joins EU, 1990 Thatcher resigns, 1999 Scottish and Welsh assemblies created...) and written down a study sheet of all the random statistics which I'll maybe look at once tomorrow morning before I go in.

I was really worried until I talked to a work colleague who has a South African friend who went through the process and said the test was really easy. That made me feel better. But they say that the test is different for everyone, which may mean that they decide if they like you or not first and decide the test's difficulty according.

Hm. So actually, right now I should be on my best behaviour, just in case. I will go look at the colours of the Union Jack and consider whether or not I want to vote for the Labour organisation in the next election if I am a citizen of this fair land.

Long live the Queen and pass the Marmite!